Why am I passionate about this?

In the 1980s, my mother “divorced” her mother with a letter in the mail. In 2010 I did the same via email. I thought it was just my dysfunctional family, but come to find out, mother-adult daughter estrangement is not unusual and difficult mother-daughter relationships don’t happen in a vacuum, they happen in the context of patriarchy, white supremacy, internalized misogyny, and other oppressive systems. Through therapy and, later, when I trained to be a life coach, allllll my “mother stuff” came up. The tools and practices I learned and developed were so helpful to me, I couldn’t keep them to myself. 


I wrote

Book cover of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma and Shame

What is my book about?

"Karen is the wise voice you want whispering in your ear when shame knocks on your door, reminding you that…

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The books I picked & why

Book cover of Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships: Guiding the Adult Daughter's Healing Journey through the Estrangement Energy Cycle

Karen C.L. Anderson Why did I love this book?

This book is written specifically for clinicians, therapists, life coaches, and other mental and community health professionals who work with adult daughters estranged from their mothers.

It is an excellent resource for anyone who knows, cares about, or loves an adult daughter who is estranged from her mother. While it’s almost a cliche for therapists to ask a client to talk about their relationship with their mother, there were few clinical guidelines or practical resources for these helping professionals.

The book thoroughly explores the aptly named Estrangement Energy Cycle through the experiences of several of the author's clients and offers therapeutic tools and practices that are easy for anyone to use.

By Khara Croswaite Brindle,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Depending on your client, the goal of therapy may be to repair an estranged relationship with their mother or to finalize parental estrangement and redefine themself. How can clinicians feel prepared to address the possible treatment focus of ruptured maternal relationships in the therapeutic space? This book focuses on identifying the estrangement cycle for clinical application with adult women clients by mental health professionals. This resource provides clinical tool to address the challenges of estrangement and adjustment needs of these clients within the spheres of personal identity, relationships, and grief and loss in order to promote personal growth and healing…


Book cover of I'm Glad My Mom Died

Karen C.L. Anderson Why did I love this book?

Despite a title that may indicate an angry revenge read, this memoir navigates the question of what, if anything, an adult daughter owes her abusive mother.

It also explores two paradoxes: loving and fearing a mother, and missing a mother who has died and being relieved she is no longer alive. McCurdy does a masterful and sensitive job of describing the childhood abuse she experienced at the hands of her mother and her journey to healing and wholeness.

By Jennette McCurdy,

Why should I read it?

8 authors picked I'm Glad My Mom Died as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A heartbreaking and hilarious memoir by iCarly and Sam & Cat star Jennette McCurdy about her struggles as a former child actor-including eating disorders, addiction, and a complicated relationship with her overbearing mother-and how she retook control of her life.

Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother's dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called "calorie restriction," eating little and weighing herself five times a day. She endured extensive at-home makeovers while…


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Book cover of The Pianist's Only Daughter: A Memoir

The Pianist's Only Daughter By Kathryn Betts Adams,

The Pianist's Only Daughter is a frank, humorous, and heartbreaking exploration of aging in an aging expert's own family.

Social worker and gerontologist Kathryn Betts Adams spent decades negotiating evolving family dynamics with her colorful and talented parents: her mother, an English scholar and poet, and her father, a pianist…

Book cover of Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood

Karen C.L. Anderson Why did I love this book?

Wells’ novel takes readers to the heart of the pain that an adult daughter experiences at the hands of a troubled mother.

It explores how the pain and trauma of being a woman in a culture that doesn’t value women equally are passed down through generations and how each generation picks it up and carries it, in similar but different ways.

This “wound” shows up in the relationships of mothers who grew up in the 1950s and 60s and their daughters who grew up in the 1970s and 80s. The mothers want so much for their daughters to have more freedom than they themselves did, but instead find themselves experiencing fear, bitterness, and unexpected jealousy.

By Rebecca Wells,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Film tie-in edition of the international bestseller. When Siddalee Walker, eldest daughter of Vivi Abbott Walker (Ya-Ya extraordinaire - part Scarlett, part Katharine Hepburn, part Tallulah) is interviewed about a hit play she has directed, her mother is described as a 'tap-dancing child abuser'.

Enraged, Vivi disowns Sidda - devastating her daughter who postpones her wedding and puts her life on hold until she is granted forgiveness. Trying to repair the relationship, the Ya-Yas, Vivi's intrepid tribe of Louisiana girlfriends, sashay in and insist Sidda is sent 'The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood', a scrapbook of their lives together…


Book cover of The Burning Light of Two Stars: A Mother-Daughter Story

Karen C.L. Anderson Why did I love this book?

Laura Davis hits it out of the park with this epically honest and human memoir.

In it, she tells the story of how, after decades of estrangement due to family abuse and incest, which her mother denied, she decides to care for her elderly mother. I believe any woman will find value, wisdom, and relief in The Burning Light of Two Stars, but it is especially poignant for mothers and adult daughters who have struggled, are estranged, and/or are navigating reconciliation.

It is in revealing and speaking the truth, that healing, even when it's messy and emotional, can take place. 

By Laura Davis,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked The Burning Light of Two Stars as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

"Caregiving an elderly parent, especially against the backdrop of a difficult shared past, can be a bruising spiritual ordeal. We who must travel this territory don't need any more sentimental narratives about it. What we do need is the healing medicine of truth-telling, and Laura Davis brilliantly and generously gives it to us. I literally could not put this book down."

—Katy Butler, bestselling author of Knocking on Heaven's Door and The Art of Dying Well

This riveting memoir by Laura Davis, the author of The Courage to Heal, examines the endurance of mother-daughter love, how memory protects and betrays…


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Book cover of The Stark Beauty of Last Things

The Stark Beauty of Last Things By Céline Keating,

This book is set in Montauk, under looming threat from a warming climate and overdevelopment. Now outsider Clancy, a thirty-six-year-old claims adjuster scarred by his orphan childhood, has inherited an unexpected legacy: the power to decide the fate of Montauk’s last parcel of undeveloped land. Everyone in town has a…

Book cover of Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

Karen C.L. Anderson Why did I love this book?

This is one of the first books I read on the subject and it provided so much relief and finally gave me an explanation, not only about why my mother might be the way she is, but why I might be the way I am.

It might be rather simplistic and pathologizing, but in her book McBride discusses how daughters of narcissistic mothers often fall into one of two categories: overachievers and underachievers. As someone who used to identify as an underachiever, it would have never dawned on me that being an overachiever was just as fraught with pain, self-doubt, and shame.

By Karyl McBride,

Why should I read it?

4 authors picked Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

From experienced family therapist Dr. Karyl McBride, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? is an essential guide to recovery for women with selfish, emotionally abusive, and toxic mothers—designed to help daughters reclaim their lives.

The first book for daughters who have suffered the abuse of narcissistic, self-involved mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life. Drawing on more than two decades of experience as a therapist specializing in women’s health and hundreds of interviews with suffering daughters, Dr. Karyl McBride helps you recognize the…


Explore my book 😀

Book cover of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma and Shame

What is my book about?

"Karen is the wise voice you want whispering in your ear when shame knocks on your door, reminding you that you are so much more than your relationship with your mother." -Maggie Reyes, master certified marriage coach & bestselling author of The Questions for Couples Journal

#1 New Release in Adult Children of Alcoholics and Parent & Adult Child Relationships

What is your relationship to shame? How can you overcome it and live an intentional life of vulnerability? You Are Not Your Mother guides readers on how to see shame, and live separately from it.

Shift away from shame and turn to radical forgiveness. Grow your internal self acceptance and resilience with this guide for women. Packed with meditative prompts to help you explore your relationship to shame. You are Not Your Mother caters to your inner desires to be seen, heard, and known. The toxic generational trauma and unhealthy relationships stop with you!

Explore your personal roots to shame with an expert. As a top authority on recovering from growing up in toxic families, Karen C.L. Anderson walks you through her shame story, her relationship with her narcissistic mother, and the simple practices she has developed to alleviate guilt from unhealthy relationships. Author of bestselling Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters with over 150,000 copies sold, Karen offers tools to process, understand and move beyond childhood trauma so you can not only survive, but thrive.

Inside, you'll find:

Karen's story on dealing with a narcissistic mother and how she overcame her shame Journal prompts, mind-body practices, and simple exercises to release shame and toxic habits A guide on how to finally identify shame, and how to embrace living free from it
If you enjoy therapy books and content on emotion management, then this book is for you! If you liked I'm Glad My Mom Died, Mother Hunger, or Uprooting Shame And Guilt, you'll love You Are Not Your Mother.

Book cover of Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships: Guiding the Adult Daughter's Healing Journey through the Estrangement Energy Cycle
Book cover of I'm Glad My Mom Died
Book cover of Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood

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